Sometimes it really does seem like chivalry is dead. In this day in age it’s a miracle if people actually fathom going on a date before sleeping together. I for one am not that into dating and much of it has to do with these 5 things that are serious red flags in my book. In the hook up culture that has taken over our generation it leaves me asking myself, are there really any decent guys left out there?
5 Things that make any self-respecting woman go..”next!”
1. Lack of First Date Creativity
Wow, you’re actually fortunate enough to have met someone who wants to take you on a date and not just asks you to come over and “watch a movie”…astounding! How sad that this is actually something out of the ordinary instead of the standard, but I digress. Okay, so you found a decent enough guy who knows how this dating thing is supposed to go, but then when push comes to shove they lack any sort of planning or creative ability.
“Dinner and a movie?” Lame.
“Froyo?” Lam-er (and what a cheapskate!)
“I don’t know, what would you like to do?” Seriously…you’re the one who asked me on a date..YOU are supposed to take initiative and plan something.
Guys, look, dates are auditions.
We’re getting to know you, just like you’re getting to know us and when you show me right off the bat you lack any motivation to have some fun, think outside the box, or take charge it really makes me question what type of potential boyfriend or even friend you’d end up being.
If I want to sit at home and “watch a movie” I can either a.) do that by myself or b.) have plenty of gal pals who I can feel completely comfortable wearing sweats and sharing a tub of Ben & Jerry’s with all the while divulging in some good girl talk. (Which by the way, never, ever gets old.) Not to mention there’s no awkward sexual tension or pressure.
So if you suck at being creative, I really don’t know how to help you except suggest that you find a girl who’s just as boring and doesn’t mind. Maybe try Googling something and pretend like you’re at least a teeny bit original?
2. Homeboy Sucks at Texting
Dear God, if you are a horrible conversationalist when it comes to the art of texting it just makes me not want to talk to you- like, ever.
The budding of a new romance is supposed to be fun, exciting and make your heart skip a beat every time your phone buzzes with a new incoming text. But when we have the same dead-end generic conversations that are left awkwardly hanging because you don’t understand the concept of how to continue a texting conversation umm, yeah. Ttyn.
If you really want to impress me, call just to chat. I might be a little weirded out at first since hardly anyone does that anymore but if we have a connection it will definitely score you major points. Remember the days when you would actually dial someone’s number and have a legitimate conversation with them?
Let’s bring it back to the glory days when a phone was for talking, not texting.
3. Brosef doesn’t try to get to know you- at all.
If you stick to generic, surface level conversation topics, please tell me, what is the point? No you don’t need to ask me my deepest darkest secrets or life’s greatest ambitions on the first couple dates (that by the way would also make a girl “next” you) but ask questions about things that are important to me or that I seem passionate about and I’ll be sure to do the same.
If I don’t get the sense you’re trying to understand who I am, then I think you’re either just dating me for my looks and/or to get in my pants, or you’ve already made up in your mind who I am and don’t care to get to know the real me.
Neither of these situations works well for you. If those things do apply, then do us both a favor and next yourself.
4. Mr. Dating Potential is on his phone…non-stop.
‘Scuse me, I know this is the 21st century but there still is this thing called “personal relationships” and “social interaction” not “social media interaction”.
If we’re on a date and you can’t stop texting, checking your Facebook/Twitter/ESPN, or (gag) Snap chatting, then please excuse me while I go have a conversation with someone who can set their phone down for a minimum 30 minutes.
This is especially a problem if you exhibit turn-off #2.
You can’t text me, but miraculously have a plethora of conversations with everyone else when you’re in my presence? Who are you texting that isn’t annoyed by your lack of ability or why do you all of a sudden forget how to text when I’m the recipient of your barely tolerable attempt of communication? Get it together, man.
5. Dismal Complimenting Skills
It’s really not that hard to do guys. “You look beautiful.” “You have a great sense of humor.” “I’m having such a great time getting to know you.”
Why aren’t these the first things guys say?
Instead you’re more likely to get a slip of the hand to grope your ass or an awkward too long stare at your chest. Yo buddy, I may have a great body but let’s hope if you’re interested in dating me that’s not all you’re taking into consideration. Because let’s face it, I could be, (let’s use a favorite term used by men)…crazy!
So before trying to make it to second base before it’s warranted hold off on the touchy feely. Get to know me, just like I’m trying to get to know you, and make sure I’m not a psycho. Because we’ve all had that “crazy” ex and we certainly don’t need another.
I may be generalizing a bit, and perhaps these five things seem a little harsh (and yes, women are EQUALLY responsible for doing these things as well) but I hope you take the article all in good fun but also, hear me when I say this, avoid doing these things if you’re looking for (even just the possibility of) a genuine relationship with someone. I beg of you.
Side-note, this is about DATING. Not hooking up, hanging out, etc. It’s a lost art for my generation but I have hope that guys and gals alike will get it together and genuinely try getting to know each other before committing to more serious, “next-level”, intimacy.
What are your dating turnoffs?